Tell Me When Blog Hop

by Kim Van Sickler

Congrats to Stina Lindenblatt on her new book and for hosting this blog hop.

My husband attended a conference where he heard a victim speak about being kidnapped at a second job interview. After she was thrown in a car, she was transported to her new life as a sex slave, a horrific experience she endured for the next ten months.

Natasha's story dredged up unpleasant memories for me of times in my life that I felt targeted for sex. For instance:

1. At age 15, being lured to the staff quarters of a 28-year-old cruise ship waiter who tried his best to rape me. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone in authority about it.

Kim (far left) dressed with her family for costume night on that same cruise.

2. While walking to a friend's house when I was 16, a man drove up and asked for directions. After I approached his car, he removed a map from his lap, showing me his erect penis.

Kim as a high school sophomore.

3. During a trip to the mall with a girlfriend, a bridal shop employee begged us to return to his store after hours so we could role-play.

4. Being seduced right out of high school by the 35-year-old restaurant manager at my summer job. He said he was divorced, and he pursued me hard. Turns out he wasn't even separated from his wife.

Kim (second from right) at her high school graduation.

5. At my first college fraternity party as a sorority girl, we were herded into the frat house basement and segregated from the guys until we finished our keg of beer. By the time we were allowed to co-mingle, the guys were trashed, and we were supposed to be too. Our "hosts" were grippy and horny, and it was a humiliating experience.

6. Jogging in the woods at 23 when a man called out to me. When I turned to look, I saw he was naked. I kept running, and he chased me. By the time I made it out of the woods, he was a few strides away from grabbing distance. I never ran alone through those woods again.

Kim right out of college.

I'm lucky that nothing worse happened to me, considering the unwanted sexual attention I got without even trying. And I am, and always have been, an average-looking person. My latest book, The Mall in Gullybrook, explores what happens when three girls are targeted and pursued for their flesh. They don't fare as well as I did. Because, oftentimes, when a manipulator wants you badly enough, he or she will go to great lengths to get you. And nowadays, with the pervasiveness of social media, luring innocent young things who think they are old enough to take care of themselves is chillingly easy.

I wish it wasn't so.

But since it is, I want young girls to take precautions, become less trusting, and not be afraid to report anything that makes them uncomfortable.

The result of not learning this lesson can crush a young life. Rape can't be undone. Better for girls to understand the sexual landscape and stay out of the clutches of pimps, pedophiles, and sexual aggressors. Better than the alternative.

Have you been able to remain unscathed by disturbing sexual advances? If not, if it's not too painful, please share your experience in the comments below. Talk is power. Silence cloaks the perpetrators, and does nothing to prevent it from happening to someone else.